This moment is your life

All around me I see so much sadness lately. I see family and friends being tested on how much they can take and then, when they think it can't get any worse, it does. Young people dying from car accidents and some feeling like there is nothing to live for, so they take their own precious life and leave all their loved ones wondering why. The ones they leave behind, think, if only I had said this or that, or if only I hadn't said that, or done that, and they blame themselves. We try to pinpoint the exact moment in our minds that we think "if only" we had or had not done or said something, then they would still Be here. I'm not sure that any of us can really prevent any of these tragedies, we can try, but most of the time it's out of our hands. Losing someone you love is a horrible, heart wrenching feeling that leaves a huge void in our life's. It makes us question ourselves and take a step back and re-think what's important in our life. We change for a while, we try to be kinder, love more, help more, think before we speak, but then usually we are right back to our old self. I try so hard everyday to not let the small stuff matter, to not get angry about things that really don't matter. I try to be calm and think before I open my mouth to speak. You can not take your words back once they are heard. A million sorry's, or I didn't mean It's, won't erase the words said in anger to the people we love. I try to always say "I love you" to those I love, because you really just never know if that will be the last time you get to tell them. The older I get, the more precious I feel my life has become. I am grateful to still have both my parents living, as so many of my friends and family have lost theirs. I realize how precious hearing their voice is now, but how sad it will be to try to remember how it sounded once they are gone, that's why I save certain voice messages. I have heard how listening to one of those messages will be all I have left of that person besides memories, once they are gone. 

I can not possibly know how it feels to lose a child or watch them slowly die, or how it feels to lose a parent, or a spouse, because so far I have not had to know, but I know how I felt when I lost my grandparents and a few pets over the years and I assume it is much, much worse pain to endure.  And I can imagine its pain you never lose and no matter how much time passes, you always feel the loss.  I just hope anyone, and mostly any of my friends and family, that are going thru any of this sadness, that they know in their hearts that those that are still around them, love them, need them, and want to help even if they don't know how to say it or actually do it.  We will all lose our loved ones at some point and we need to try and know that we still are needed.  I hope somehow that everyone knows, there is ALWAYS someone who loves and needs you, Always!